HEY DUDES, MERRY BOXING DAY! Hope everyone had a great Christmas. I’m typing this from the past (December 23rd, actually) because on Christmas I’ll be out in the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend’s family, and they don’t have proper internet access. They have … dial up internet. Ewwww. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed your Christmasses and got and gave lots of books and comics! I’ve always made a point to get comics and books for my loved ones as gifts every Christmas since I became a serious comic reader. After all, you should give gifts you wouldn’t mind receiving yourself; that’s how you know it’s a good gift.
And now I have a gift for you guys! Well, sorta. It’s a give-away, but I’m going to make you work for it, because I know I have the most talented bunch of readers, and this will prove it.
As you can see in the Friends With Boys page, I wrote a zombie song to go in the zombie musical that Daniel’s acting in. It was my first time doing song lyrics, and what you see on the page is pretty much all I wrote. I do not anticipate a future career in lyric writing. But it was fun, and now I want to see you do it.
So here’s the contest!
1) Write me a zombie limerick, or song, or poem, or joke, or rhyme. Or you can continue the song I started on the page above. Write more verses for it! The limerick or song or poem or joke or rhyme or additional verses for my zombie song can be as long or as short as you like.
2) Post your zombie song or limerick or poem or joke or rhyme in the comments here. On January 15th I will choose the five I like best and will give those five people a nice prize!
Here is the prize!
One copy of First Second’s Nursery Rhyme Comics, by a ton of very good cartoonists (not me, sadly) doing very pretty things! Yay! So post your very best zombie related limerick, poem, joke, etc and you may win this very nice book, which I will then personally mail to you (so I hope you live close by because postage is expensive).
And don’t forget, there is still a giveaway for a copy of Friends With Boys going on over at Goodreads.
A Haiku
The Human Brain
Delicious
For Zombies
Ooh, a simple thing of beauty!
Ebay Zombie (A Love Song)
Pre-word: a few years ago, I was up late at night feeding one of my biggest addictions: online shopping. I came across something labeled “mystery box” on Ebay. I couldn’t help notice that it was only 45 bucks and that nobody had bid yet, surprising for a six foot long 2 foot high engraved wood box (had I done a little research, I would have found that those engravings had been lifted from the Necronomicon). Well, when my box came in, I discovered it was far from empty. I also discovered that the contents of the box would soon steal my brain…and my heart.
Ebay Zombie, Ebay Zombay
I bought you over Ebay
You were a mystery to me
But now I know
Ebay Zombie, Ebay Zombay
They auctioned you on Ebay
But nobody wanted to pay
And you were all alone
Yeah, all alone
Inconvenient though it might be
I find that I am slightly
Infatuated with who you are
And what may be to come
And it makes me more than nervous
Your yellow eyes give me a purpose
I swoon every time you ooze
And glance back as I run
Ebay Zombie, what were the odds,
I of all people would fall for you?
This isn’t the perfect picture of romance
Yet despite all your zombie flaws
Like your festering skin and flowing goo
I find myself giving you a chance
You hunger for my brains
You’re clearly not quite sane
But there’s something about you
That separates you from the rest
Maybe it’s the way chase me through the night
Or perhaps the way that you violently bite
Zombie, we’ll take the streets,
Let me put my devotion to the test
Ebay Zombie, what were the odds,
I of all people would fall for you?
This isn’t the perfect picture of romance
Yet despite all your zombie flaws
Like your festering skin and flowing goo
I find myself giving you a chance
And as people flee from us
With every step you bleed green puss
And I can’t put my finger on it
Because my fingers are falling off
But I take your stub in mine
And as we limp I feel just fine
And the blood we spill and drip
Will form a heart when it drops
Ebay Zombie, Ebay Zombay
I got you over Ebay
You were a mystery to me
But now I know
Ebay Zombie, Ebay Zombay
They auctioned you on Ebay
And nobody wanted to pay
But now you’re not alone
Yeah, you’re not alone
~Rachel Nussbaum ©
Midnight Snack:
The sounds of plate and glasses clinking
Woke me up quite late last night.
And from the kitchen something stinking
Gave me, well, a nasty fright.
I crept up slowly to the door
And fearfully I poked my head
Around the corner- “What’s in store?”
“It’s only me; a chef, undead.”
He asked if by some chance I had
Fresh brains with which to make a treat.
I said “It really is too bad,
I’m ‘fraid round here we don’t eat meat.”
Then Zombie, thoroughly polite,
When as he lunged to munch my crown
Cried out “Grain fed is quite all right,
“It tastes much better going down!”
Winner!
Grey & white matter
Fresh brains; the preferred cuisine
Of the zombie hordes
Crack open the skull
Chomp up all the yummy brains
Swallow & repeat
That has got to be the single most gruesome pair of haiku I`ve written to date O_o
[Original:
Brains for breakfast
Brains for lunch
So delicious when we
Crunch crunch crunch
Those human braaaains
Brains you say?
- Brains!
Dastardly undead
You shall not have my
Brains for breakfast
Brains for lunch
We love the sound of their
Crunch crunch crunch]
Those tasty braaaains
Breakfast you say?
- Breakfast!
Join the club
Of all the zombies that will not have my
Brains for breakfast
Brains for lunch
All we want is to
Crunch crunch crunch
Intelligent braaaaains
Lunch you say?
– Lunch!
You ignorant bunch!
No one in their right mind would like a taste of my
Brains for breakfast
Brains for lunch
If we don’t like it we’ll / If you don’t like it I’ll
Crunch crunch crunch
Some other braaaains / Your heads with no braaaaains
(Daniel sings the last chorus together with the zombies, but with the alternative lines)
Joke:
When they go to the movies, do Zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat their fingers separately!
I was a Volunteer Zombie Train Conductor on Halloween for the Poway-Midland Railroad steam locomotive: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150431547965851&set=t.747236384&type=3&theater
Continuing the song..
“Brains are tasty, that is true
When we mash them in a stew.”
Also..
What do two zombie buisness men say when they meet?
How do you get a head?
LOL
a juicy brain
does nary entertain
but i perfer to leave my cuisine
to something that’s a bit more clean
but if you are quite undead
i will say adios, my friend
and if you think brains are divine
please don’t ask me out to dine
“My boyfriend’s a zombie (Bruhhh)”
…
And if he’s feeling decomposey
Then I’ll take him for a mosey
On down to the bar to pop open a skull or three.
It’s romantic, not disgusting
And I find myself a-lusting
‘Cause as he takes their brains he takes my heart from me.
O, my boyfriend’s a zombie, (Grahhh)
Yes, my boyfriend’s a zombie! (Muahhhh)
My boyfriend’s a zombie (Brahhhhh)
And I don’t care. (*winks*)
Now, we’ve faced our share of adversity
Seems it doesn’t count as diversity
When a human girl and her zombie boy are so smitten.
But then I asked him for a hickie
And as my neck grew sticky
From my blood about his mouth, I thanked that I’d been bitten.
O, my bruhfriend’s a zombie, (Grahhh)
Yes, my bruhhhfriend’s a zombahh! (Muahhhh)
Mahh bruhhhfriend’s a zombahh (Brahhhhh)
And ahhh drahhh cruhhhhh! (*winks*)
Zombie Barbeque (a campfire song)
It’s 11:59 PM
And it feels good being dead.
I’m ready, oh I’m ready for a hunt
Haven’t had food since lunch
And my mind is burning with desire
To start up a corpsey fire.
Barbeque, the zombie way.
The perfect end to a day.
Barbeque. Zombie Barbeque.
Barbeque. Zombie Barbeque.
Come to our barbeque
And we’ll eat you!
I’ve got a craving man,
For some callused hands.
Fry ‘em up in our frying pan
Creates a flavor so appealing
That I simply cannot fight the feeling.
We want it, we want it right now
The best barbeque in town!
Barbeque. Zombie Barbeque.
Barbeque. Zombie Barbeque.
Come to our barbeque
And we’ll eat you!
Let’s hit the streets!
We’re on a quest for meat!
We’ll have some bloody Mary.
And then some bloody Harry.
I’m gonna have some lady’s fingers
Some delicious human zingers
Maybe later we’ll make some gore s’mores!
Come to our barbeque
And we’ll eat you—
Okay, here’s a little limerick involving zombies.
There once was a zombie named Tegan
Whose peers all accused her of treason
For though zombies eat brains
Tegan preferred grains
And so Tegan the zombie was vegan!
Continuation of the song above:
Brains for breakfast, brains for lunch,
We love the sound of their crunch crunch crunch!
Fried brains, poached brains, en flambé!
We will eat brains any way.
Catching humans is such a thrill,
Crack that skull and eat your fill.
We can’t be stopped, we’re undead,
So please just let us chew your head!
Brains for breakfast, brains for lunch,
We love the sound of their crunch crunch crunch!
When I was alive
On roast beef I did thrive
With taters and onions and gravy
but since I have died
a new food I have tried
About human brains I do rave(y)
I woke from the dead
Didn’t hunger for bread
Nor for chops or apples or a raisin
But a new kind of snack
Pop that skull with a crack!
Yes now it be brains I am cravin’!
Though it’s quite rich in fat
I need no longer fear that
My cholesterol count doesn’t matter
On your brains I shall dine
They are simply divine!
Though obtaining ‘em does cause some splatter.
Yes the brain is a treat
My new favorite meat!
And eyeballs (my new appetizer)
Your head I shall crack
The grey matter extract!
Leaving you never the wiser.
(‘Cause you’re dead)
Correction to last line of first verse:
“Now ’tis human brains I do crave(y)”
Brains for dinner
Brains for snacks
we love the sound of their crunch crunch crack
Brains in the morning
Brains at noon
Brains Brains Brains by the light of the moon
Faith, I don’t envy you. There are some bloody great entries here.
This one’s mine, set to the tune of ‘Sunshine on my Shoulders’ by John Denver. (Yeah, really.)
Zombies
on my doorstep
make me nervous.
Zombies
in the garden
make me cry.
Zombies
break the door down
and they chase me.
Zombies
almost everywhere -
who knows why?
If I had a day
that I could give you
I’d give to you
a day to run away.
And if I had a song
that I could sing for you
I’d sing a song
and zombies we would slay.
Cause zombies
on my doorstep
make me nervous.
Zombies
in the garden
make me cry.
Zombies
break the door down
and they chase me.
Zombies
almost everywhere -
why ask why?
If I had a tale
that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale
of how you got away.
If I had a wish
that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish
for you to run away.
Cause zombies
broke the door down
just past midnight.
Zombies
bit my arm
and made me cry.
Zombies
seem so friendly
all a sudden.
Zombies -
guess I’m just their
kind of guy.
Yeah zombies
almost all the time
are good guys.
My contribution, done to the tune of “I’ll Cry Instead” by the Beatles:
I’ll Fight Instead
Every person on planet Earth is dead
They’re all zombies now going for my head
I wish I could fly away
And have myself a brand new day
But I can’t, so I fight instead
The undead are swarming all around my place
These zombies keep getting’ in my face
I wish they would all leave town
This undead hoard just gets me down
But they won’t, so I’ll fight instead
I’m gonna fight them with a sword
Until I just get bored
Then I’m gonna go have some fun
When I pull out my shotgun
But I’m waiting for the end of the fight
When I can finally get to sleep at night
From my beer I’ll take sips
At the end of the Zombiepocalypse
Until then, I’ll fight instead
print is dead: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/sketch_of_the_dead/
Barbecued, baked or eaten raw
Brains are delicious without a flaw
They make us sing, they make us dance
They keeps us in a glorious trance
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose head became caught in a bucket
It rendered him dead
Then resurrected
With a hunger for human McNugget
…yeah, I think that last line got away from me a bit.
There once was a man called Fred
Who was one of the living dead.
He crawled out the ground
and just wandered around.
Put him back with a bullet in the head.
I thenk yew. *applause*
They will eat your brains
Zombies are Unforgiving
Haters Gonna Hate
Screams echo off the buildings
they keep on coming
all out of ammunition
My Brother the Zombie, a haiku
Brothers are a pain
Especially when they’re dead
Mine eats human brains
…
In other news, I gave comics to all of my cousins this Christmas. My favorite cousin got Brain Camp and he started reading it immediately (he’s so like me, it’s uncanny) and finished it before we were even done opening the rest of the presents. He loved it. Will definitely be getting him more comics in the future. Any recommendations for a 12 year old boy?
[...] things: Don’t forget the zombie limerick challenge, where you can win a copy of Nursery Rhyme Comics by Friends With Boys publisher First Second! [...]
How about a game? Does a game count? Well, even if it doesn’t here it is. It is very similar to Rock/Paper/Scissors. It is called Ninja/Zombie/Pirate. I made it up a while ago.
Ninja/Zombie/Pirate (NZP) is a two player game and presupposes that each player has at least one full upper chest extremity or a reasonable facsimile. Here’s how to play:
The two players face each other and each form a loose fist with one hand.
While chanting “Ninja Zombie Pirate Go” the players move their hands in and out of the playing area and on “Go” reveal one of the following hand signs:
Ninja Death Blow – The hand is presented close to perpendicular to the floor with all fingers together in a Ninja Death Blow. Anything from a perfectly straight karate chop to a GI Joe Kung Fu grip is acceptable.
Brains – The hand is presented in a tightly closed fist representing the tasty brains loved by zombies the world over.
The Hook – The hand is presented with all fingers in a closed fist except the index finger which is half extended and half curled in the shape of a pirate’s hook.
The winner of each round of NZP is determined by the following protocol
Ninja Death Blow beats Brains because the Ninja stealthfully elludes the Zombie
Brains beats The Hook because the Zombie eats the Pirates brains
The Hook beats Ninja Death Blow because the Pirate double crosses the Ninja
And that is my game which includes zombies.
A dim-witted zombie from kent
got himself stuck in an air-vent
Yippie-ki-yay!
This dolt’s gonna pay
’cause John McClane knows where he went
Not quite a zombie, but kinda similar, and topical?
A zombie abroad the Nostromo
Made the crew go a little bit loco
But mother was calm
Demolition alarm
No more intergalactic space hobo
Q: Where do the cool young undead shop for clothes?
A: Aberzombie and Fitch.
do zombies like to eat popcorn with their fingers?
no, they eat the fingers seperately
baby zombie: mommy, do i have daddy’s eyes?
mom zombie:yes you do dear, now eat them before they get cold
this is a vegetarian zombie:
gggrrraaaaiiinnnsss!!!
GGGRRRAAAIIINNSS!!!!
hahah! XD
Dear Mr. Zombie
(a poem)
Dear Mr. Zombie,
Please don’t come out to play
I normally I wouldn’t mind;
but I must object today!
Please, Mr. Zombie,
I’m truly very sad,
but you simply cannot come by;
for it would turn out rather bad.
You see, Mr. Zombie,
Although I like you very much,
you want to “eat [my] brainz”
which you simply cannot touch!
There is a reason, Mr. Zombie,
Which I refuse you such a treat—
I have my exams tomorrow morning,
a task which requires said “brainz” to complete!
So perhaps, Mr. Zombie,
You should come another day—
for then, almost certainly
I will be able to come play.
Not a submission (mine is above), not mine, but I just thought I’d share:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7fZ-8q8j64
[...] The Nursery Rhyme Comics contest is over this Sunday! So enter before it’sover. Sunday is also the end of the Goodreads contest for a copy of [...]
We zombies are misunderstood
We’ve gotten a bad name
Tho’ most of us are kind and good
Our type suffers defame
It’s zombies who are quite misled
That are the most to blame
They are the ones who are un-dead
And insist on eating brains
Ah, I can put my pastime of impromptu haiku to good use!
walking dead approach
shamble past my hideaway
searching for fresh brains
cold hands touch my arm
rotting teeth nibble my neck
oh zombie boyfriend
Alright that’s all I have for now.
I’m more in the school of free-verse poetry (because the stuff I did when I was a teenager rhymed, and was pretty bad lookig back at it.) In any case, perhaps this doesn’t fit the criterea you’re looking for, but I kinda ended up making it a bit more serious than I intended.
I read a poem once,
something to do with fire and ice
and the end of things by some beautiful means–
steady and consuming
like a worn hand reaching,
assured in the action.
In every form apcalypse is Homeric
or something, theology bakes the doomsday cake,
a man whispers something about horsemen
lost in the subway hissing stop
and countless faces blurring, all of them never thought–
…Well, all the streets are empty now, anyway.
It’s like an old western,
gun-swagging-lit-cigarrete,
some cliche line [insert here].
Only I’m the one carrying the heavy ordinance,
and this town isn’t big enough for me
and the massive horde outside waiting outside the door.
I smile and think of all
those things predicted and what-not,
start the defense, gather forces of nerves, battlements, steady, calm, collected. Don’t rush. Use your brain.
They certainly will.
I sigh, and let a smile. Zombie apocalypse?
“Called it.”
Zombie…limerick?
Uh-UH-uh uh-UH-uh uh-UH Braaaiinnzz.
Uh-UH-uh uh-UH-uh uh-UH Brrrraaaiinnzz.
Uh uh UH uh uh UH,
Uh uh UH uh uh UH?
Uh-UH-uh-uh-UH-uh-uh-UH: Braaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnzz!!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist…
[...] 1) Zombies On My Doorstep (set to the John Denver tune “Sunshine on my Shoulder”) by Warren! I liked this Zombie tune because it seemed like something that could actually be a part of a high school play. Taking a familiar tune and changing the lyrics to reflect the play made a lot of sense, plus a John Denver zombie song is just hilarious. Good job, Warren! [...]